Thursday, February 5, 2009
"Please, Don't Recycle."
No matter the store I walk into this time of the year everything is decorated with pinks, reds, whites and confetti hearts. It is February and Valentine’s day is close upon us, nine days away in fact. Most people love this holiday and are overcome with joy when it shows itself to us once a year, but not me. The DJ’s on the radio go overboard with mooshy love songs and they retell stories of lost or present lovers, and wish out good cheer to all the other love birds out there. Most people accept his wish of good cheer, but not me. And what is this all for? Why do confetti hearts and warm bright colors engulf the month of February? Love. Love is the reason for it; it is the reason for all the foolishness and calamity that takes place during this second month of every new year.
I would like to have someone to love around this time, and it seems that any other month in the year I in fact do have a special someone. But once Valentine’s day creeps closer and the days on my calendar slowly diminish to the single digits, something terrible happens. This blog is going to express my rage and sorrowful emotion because I know I can’t express it any other way without ripping my hair out. I met this boy spontaneously, and instantly we became the best of friends. Of course when something like this happens it seems magical, and although I was very happy that I had met this person I was also wary and afraid of being hurt… But with the displays of his fondness, and his honesty; my wariness began to fade and I didn’t have the slightest worry or anxiety about our situation. And , so, like an idiot I allowed myself to be overcome with emotion and my mind with an overpowering sense of affection and well being. However like every other good thing, there is a consequence or a small chance of the good thing becoming bad.
Its peculiar that every time something absolutely amazing happens to me something equally evil and horrible happens and throws the good feelings out of whack and leaves me with my chest ripped open and my heart beating within it; so fragile and vulnerable to any sort of attack that could be thrown at it and rip its soft tissue to ribbons. Of course maybe I am overreacting, and now that I’m reflecting on what I’ve just typed it does seem a little odd that I’m reacting this way. Because usually relationships happen with me, and if they end I am slightly sorrowful but I maintain a dignified composer. I poured my heart and soul into this little kid, and my expectations for him were high. But now I doubt I can ever see him again (even as a friend) without bursting into humiliating tears; And its like a cycle, once my story reaches its climax it plummets down to tragic end just to begin the cycle again.
I would like to have someone to love around this time, and it seems that any other month in the year I in fact do have a special someone. But once Valentine’s day creeps closer and the days on my calendar slowly diminish to the single digits, something terrible happens. This blog is going to express my rage and sorrowful emotion because I know I can’t express it any other way without ripping my hair out. I met this boy spontaneously, and instantly we became the best of friends. Of course when something like this happens it seems magical, and although I was very happy that I had met this person I was also wary and afraid of being hurt… But with the displays of his fondness, and his honesty; my wariness began to fade and I didn’t have the slightest worry or anxiety about our situation. And , so, like an idiot I allowed myself to be overcome with emotion and my mind with an overpowering sense of affection and well being. However like every other good thing, there is a consequence or a small chance of the good thing becoming bad.
Its peculiar that every time something absolutely amazing happens to me something equally evil and horrible happens and throws the good feelings out of whack and leaves me with my chest ripped open and my heart beating within it; so fragile and vulnerable to any sort of attack that could be thrown at it and rip its soft tissue to ribbons. Of course maybe I am overreacting, and now that I’m reflecting on what I’ve just typed it does seem a little odd that I’m reacting this way. Because usually relationships happen with me, and if they end I am slightly sorrowful but I maintain a dignified composer. I poured my heart and soul into this little kid, and my expectations for him were high. But now I doubt I can ever see him again (even as a friend) without bursting into humiliating tears; And its like a cycle, once my story reaches its climax it plummets down to tragic end just to begin the cycle again.
--Cloud Envy.
8:04 AM
1 commented
8:04 AM
1 commented